Think back to a time where you were stressed out, maybe you’re on the way to an exam, or a job you don’t enjoy, and something happens that makes you late. You find yourself cursing the obstacle as if it were there just to be in your way. In the wash of emotion, you show up to work angry and tense, rudely brushing past fellow employees or students, maybe even making remarks if you’re angry enough. Maybe this isn’t the first day this has happened either, maybe it’s been a week long streak of mishaps and now you’re starting to realize that people almost seem like they are avoiding you.

Even if you’re not a student or a person with a crumby job, you’ve surely experienced the effect that your own stress has on others around you. When your stress starts to wear you around, you can start to feel isolated, more angry, and less approachable. And what a nasty cycle that can become. So today, we’ll be talking about dealing with our own stress, for the sake of ourselves, and others.

There are many ways we as humans deal with our stress, and fewer ways our stress is expressed. Stress is often expressed through our interactions with others, often having a negative impact on both the relationship between the individuals, and the individuals themselves. Making an effort to mediate our own stress, and how we express it when it starts to bubble up, can have many positive effects on our life.

When we are looking after our stress, we are:

·         More approachable

·         Easier/pleasurable to be around

·         Capable of building stronger, more meaningful relationships

·         Able to feel better about ourselves

·         Looking after our health and well being

·         Improving our view of the world

Although stress probably isn’t going to vanish from our lives, can we at least reduce its impact on our relationships? Absolutely.

Influencing our physiology through breath may be a great place to start. The main components of breath that we can focus on are: how much we’re breathing, how often we’re breathing, and how deeply we’re breathing.

Think back to the example we started with; you’re rushing to work or an exam. What does your breathing look like? This is just a guess, but I’ll bet that it was probably short, rapid, mouth open, chest breaths; very similar to the type of breathing we tend to do while exercising. This type of breathing is associated with stress, anger, exercise, and high arousal because, to the body, its all very similar. To our brain, the idea of us being late to work registers on a similar level to being chased by a predator, and our body initiates all the same responses it would have if we were actually being chased because well, those responses worked in the past and kept our ancestors alive.

So why use breathing to address this? Because breathing can initiate, or reverse, these fear based responses. If our breathing is short, rapid, and primarily into the chest while we are feeling stressed, slow, deep, diaphragmatic breaths can and will reverse that feeling.

Want to try it right now? If not, keep this in your back pocket the next time you catch yourself in the throws of some good ole distress.

Bring your attention to your breathing. I like to pay attention to the way the air feels going in and out of my nose; it’s a great anchor for you if your concentration is a bit wild as it often is while stressed.
Take a slow inhale through your nose, down into your belly. If it helps, put your hands on your chest and belly to help confirm whether or not you’re belly breathing. Exhale and relax the muscles around your throat, jaw, chest and hands. At the bottom of the exhale, plug your nose for 5 seconds. Inhale calmly.

·         Inhale slowly in through the nose, into the belly for 4 seconds

·         Exhale slowly out through the nose for 6 seconds, relaxing your muscles as best you can.

·         Hold your breath or plug your nose for 5 seconds.

·         Inhale calmly (if you feel suffocated, increase the amount of air you’re inhaling) for 4 seconds

·         Repeat for 1 minute (or as long as you’d like)

By using this breathing protocol, you are increasing the amount of CO2 in your blood stream, which allows the oxygen in your blood to be absorbed into the tissue more readily, leading to a feeling of calmness. The feeling is a product of several different processes that are the consequences of the change in breathing. They are:

·         Widening of the blood vessels via CO2’s vasodilating characteristics

o   Reduced blood pressure, better oxygen delivery to tissue

·         Increased parasympathetic tone (rest & digest)

o   4 second inhales and 6 second exhales optimize the communication between the viscera and brain via Vagus Nerve.

·         Activation of diaphragm makes use of proper biomechanics, rather than using upper chest muscles to breath which leads to chronically tight and sore neck, jaw, and chest.

o   Nasal breathing recruits the diaphragm, while mouth breathing recruits the accessory breathing muscles.

·         Reduces sympathetic activity (fight or flight)

o   Breath rate has a direct impact on heart rate, blood pressure, physiological arousal

By using this breathing protocol in moments of stress and anxiety, you can significantly reduce the chances of having a negative interaction with someone, give yourself a feeling of agency over your body and mind, and you may even serve as an example for someone else who is trying to reduce the impact stress has on their life. If they see you as someone who can experience stressful things in a calm, collected manner, you are scoring points for the good guys.

Don’t miss next weeks article where we delve into the psychological side of things in regards to breathing as a potential mediator to interpersonal disputes.

As always, if you have a topic you’d like to see covered in an article or post, leave a comment down below or toss me an email at ourblueskyminds@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you.

Best

-          Our Blue Sky Minds