Finding Home Everywhere: Expanding Your Comfort Zone

What would it mean to bring home with you, wherever you go? I can only assume that we all have our own personal and unique idea of what this would be like. To me, it would mean feeling comfortable, and at peace, no matter where I went. And when I look back on a lot of the practices and routines that I regularly invest time into, I see that I’m actually trying to expand my comfort zone as far as I can. That much is probably obvious to many of us who are on a journey themed by cultivating resilience and seeking out meaningful experiences and lessons. What may not be as obvious, or it wasn’t to me anyway, is just how easily you can swap the idea of “comfort zone” and “home”, while getting even closer to what feeling we’re truly after.

Think of a fond memory you have where you were at home and felt completely safe and content. The memory probably isn’t all that special, rather a small glimpse of what letting your guard down really feels like. That “Aaah” moment Ram Dass and all those spiritual thought leaders talk about when you feel yourself melt into a different state of being; when everything was okay.

I think one of the greatest realizations, partly due to what meditation has taught me, is that it’s entirely possible to carry this feeling around, no matter where I am. Of course, it’s not the easiest thing in the world; it takes practice and time, but as far as I can tell, it is totally worth it.

And the more I look at it, the more I can see resilience as the extension, or the ability, to create a feeling of being at home in various contexts. An example of this might look like presenting to a crowd of people. I think the majority of us would be able to paint a very clear line between what it feels like to be home vs what it feels like to be addressing a crowd. But what if it were possible to close that distance, if not remove it completely? Although I’m far from closing that distance completely, I’ve been able to have an immense impact on the arousal I feel on a day-to-day basis with this approach.

There’s also another side to this idea of resilience representing the ability to create or bring “home” with you wherever you go, and that is homeostasis. It’s even got home in the name. Homeostasis is our body’s preferred state or bandwidth of tolerable input/output. In fact, most of our bodily processes are aimed at maintaining, or returning, to homeostasis. Our body has a preferred internal temperature, blood pressure, heartbeat, fluid content, etc. When we get too hot, we sweat; when we get too cold, we shiver; thirsty, we drink; hungry, we eat, etc. Most of, if not all, of our day, is actually compiled of behaviours and processes that are oriented towards maintaining this optimal middle ground where everything is gravy.

So if our body is constantly striving towards homeostasis, then resilience, or physiological resilience to be specific, is our body’s ability to return to homeostasis after being stretched further and further away from our golden, preferred middle ground. The farther we can deviate from our preferred state, and return to it without too much damage and resource cost, the greater our physiological resilience.

Our comfort zone is a psychological expression of this. Consider this: If you think of an area in a room in which you can walk freely back and forth without too much exhaustion or energy output, that is what would be called your comfort zone. In fact, next to being not energy demanding, it might even be restorative to spend time here. You know what to expect here; there probably aren’t any monsters waiting around for you to let your guard down. This in turn lets you drop into those states of being where creativity, freedom, complete contentment, and gratitude seem to effortlessly flow. From this perspective, it would be logical that you try to spend as much time as possible in this room.

If we connect these ideas, we can view the journey of resilience as an expression of expanding this room, your comfort zone to, well, the entire world, both inner and outer. How different would your life be if you were able to go about it as if you were home the whole time?

Now, this doesn't mean that you will turn the world into an endlessly cushy place, after all, even your home can become disrupted every now and again. It’s about the decision to make an effort to master your internal and external environments, so most of the typical threats are expected and dealt with. And you certainly don’t get to a place like that without an investment of time, effort, and attention.

It’s about the journey of making small, incremental steps to create a world where you are always at home.